However, to all aspects of me, mind, body, soul, and spirit, I needed time to myself. Thus, after waking up past noon, I began to wander around to places in Leipzig I had yet to explore. Part of this was to awaken certain parts of me I sensed were slumbering. I needed to get out of my dorm, but I still wanted to be alone. Ever wanted to just drop everything and be someplace by yourself where you can be as loud or as silent as you wanted? That was me today.
Thus, my first attempt was to visit a lake just west of the city, Kulkwitzer. Unfortunately, it was crowded for the most part, so it took me a while to find a rather solitary place on the lake, away from the site of naked sunbathers (yes, this is normal to them).
Stared hard at the lake for a while, sang spontaneous songs to God out of a heavy heart, confessing various failings, and also reading parts of Hearing God. Left there with a bit more peace than I had before, God seeming to whisper how He would be go ahead of me to make my way straight. I still don't know if I understand everything, but I pray I would gain the faith to trust.
I then wandered around the city center some, desiring to find the Herrnhuter star I had seen the other day from a tram car. Ended up finding it in a park, though I still don't know the significance of why it is here in Leipzig (the plaque beneath it told of how it was celebrating the 100th year anniversary of a school; don't see what that has to do with the Unitas Fraternitum). On the way there, however, I found a piece of the Berlin wall that had been moved to Leipzig. On it, there were 4 words, 3 of which are not found in google translate. However, the last one is simply "gone" in English:
Also wandered into a free museum all about the GDR days of Germany, though it mainly focused on cultural images from around the world that seem to capture people's imaginations. For example, they had this image of the Warsaw ghetto in the museum:
Essentially, the descriptions that followed were how this photo captured the oppression of the Polish people during the second World War, though now it is a more expansive symbol of oppression for people of the world. The same sort of analysis was undertaken with pictures of the flag raising at Iwo Jima, and then a photo of a GDR officer jumping over barbed wire to the side of the West. Needless to say, the exhibit did show that a picture is "worth a thousand words."
After that, wandered back to the dorm with some ice cream on my lips, hiked to a local park and found a cool Russian orthodox church (unfortunately, closed), then headed back to cook some pasta. The sauce I used was pretty diverse, encompassing a premade meat sauce, an italian salad dressing, mustard, weight watchers butter, and pepper (but it tasted goooooood :P).
The highlight of today was at its end. God had allowed me to see an older man on a bench yesterday as I was leaving a park near my dormitory. I had been wrestling with how on earth I was supposed to minister to the people of Leipzig, since I did not know the language. I prayed moments after I passed him, "God, how do I minister to him?" And He whispered, "Break bread with him. He will be back here at the same time tomorrow."
I doubted Him a little bit, when I came an hour earlier today and didn't see him today. I went back to the dorm, and as I ventured the internet, I noted the time. I thought, "why not?" and walked over to the park. There he was, same place, same time. Quickly, I walked back to my dorm, praying, "God, I don't know how this is going to happen, but this has got to be Your love and not mine. You've seen where my heart's been all today and this week. Help me love him as You love him." I quickly put together two nutella sandwiches on knackebrot (imagine hard, wide, tasteless crackers that you can put anything on), and walked back over to him. I gave him some, and he seemed rather amused that I sat down next to him when there were other benches around the park and it was 10 pm. I briefly explained in broken German that I had come to Germany to study and to pray. He just smiled. I sat on the bench with him for a good while, mostly attempting to communicate anything I could to him (the most he said was a word I didn't know, an offer of a cigarette to me, and a comment on some random fireworks behind us). I asked him what I could pray for him, though he did not respond, but only smiled.
I left the experience at peace, knowing that I had obeyed what God had spoken. In fact, leaving the experience, I felt the greatest joy that I had known all that day. I guess (not guess, but yes, this is) Christ speaks truly when He speaks of desiring mercy and not sacrifice, and of obedience to the Word rather than just having it around us as an oft-seen symbol. If it is not in our lives, what good is it?
God, continue this work in me. Let me speak and do and be who You've called me to be at all times. Not my will, but Yours be done.
in Christ,
MJW
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