When I came to Leipzig, I expected most of what I would experience in terms of evangelism would be very heady. I expected mainly philosophical conversations with scientists who think little of religion at all, and may have no respect for it. I have encountered many scientists in my stay here, and they are able to talk about religion quite freely, though it is always the same answer of "I believe in my five senses."
What is surprising is that I have found more homeless than I expected here in this city. Not many, but still, as Christ said, the poor we will always have with us (Mark 14:7). Two encounters I've had so far have broken my heart.
The first was with a simple beggar along the side of the road. There are many people who play music along the streets downtown for change passerbys might throw their way. This man was simple: he was obviously weak, tired, no instruments, no gimmicks. Just a simple hat at his feet. As I walked by him the first time, I saw he had had a leg injury, evidenced by the need for a crutch that lay at his side.
At first, I didn't know what to do. I decided to enter an historic church and silently seek God for a few moments. Inwardly, though, I knew I needed to go back. I quickly looked up the German word for "to pray" (beten), and approached the man. I spoke in quite broken German how I wanted to pray for him. He essentially accepted any help that I would offer. I prayed that he would know the love and power of God in new ways... and that God is with him. I then placed some coins into his hat, and then noticed that his skull was partially caved in. I again offered if I could pray for his healing. Again, a yes, and more prayer continued. I know not whether his leg and head were healed, but he kept saying "danke" as I was leaving. I only hope he did not see me as above him in my attempts to help.
The second man I encountered was just today. He was wild, had unkempt hair and clothes, and was shouting at everyone that came near him. My thoughts immediately went to demon possession. I began to pray under my breath for the man, commanding anything of the evil one to leave him alone. Yet in spite of this, I did not go up to him and confront whatever was over him. He continued to shout and run this way and that, always a little ways ahead of me, though never directed toward me. He eventually turned to go to a garden, while I had to turn to go to work. Something in me just wanted to go over and pray out the evil. I know not what held me back. Fear? Doubt? Unreadiness? I know not. I simply pray God would make me prepared for the next time.
Demon possession in Europe? No way, crazy! They're under a spirit of atheism over there.
Yet I see this and wonder if it is a guise for something more dastardly the enemy might introduce underground.
God, use me to readch the broken in this city. I care not how few or how many they are. I just ask that You would continue to show me them, bring them across my path. And God, may Your Spirit counsel me in sharing with them the Way of Christ.
in Love,
MJW
Friday, May 27, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
Week 1.1 - Need to blog more O_O
Hey all,
So I'm trying to decide when to update this. I don't want to update it so regularly that it's overbearing, yet I don't want to miss out on all the cool details of my stay here. I could easily write a blog entry for each and every day I've been here so far. Since writing last, I have...
* Attended a German barbeque (a member of the church I attend here brought me)
* Visited the city of Halle
* Saw the Monument to the Battle of Nations
However, it has not been like this all the time. There was a period of loneliness at the beginning, when I had no internet access and knew no one from LEC (Leipzig English Church). My first night here I actually cried myself to sleep because I felt so alone, but God was using the experience to break me of my desire for relationships unto themselves. I need to be His alone. Then He would be the one defining my rising and setting, my coming and going, my perpetual rejoicing, no matter who I come to know and who I leave behind. He will be constant.
On that, I have been getting into the Word more here. I've been reading a book by Dallas Willard called Hearing God, that really helps me be at peace about knowing God's voice. With that, it seems I've been hearing God more clearly here. Perhaps it's because there are less voices. But He just seems to prompt me more, to talk with certain people, to correct me, to let me know what I'm doing, what I should be doing, who I am and who I am to be... and of course, much more than me... He shows me this when I know Him for who He is. Also good in getting me to this point: Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest (epic...).
Among the the things He's shown me, I believe He may be calling me to missions. This time may no be so much about biochemistry research as it is about learning to live in a land that is unfamiliar to me. I do not know the language, and I am learning to live with believers from a variety of different backgrounds (at LEC, there are native Germans, people from the UK, Australia, Iraq, Pakistan, some university students, some teachers, one pastor who left his home country due to persecution). We'll see how God uses this experience for His purposes. I know He has equipped me with skills in certain academic areas, but I would not want to elevate those above the God who gave them to me and desires to use them as He sees fit. God, do what You will... really.
On some lighter notes, here are some observations about German culture:
- Germans smoke. All the time. And most anywhere. Asthmatics of the world, do not enter.
- Yes, you can spontaneously go out onto the side walk and open a bottle of champagne (or some other alcoholic beverage) to celebrate a lab success.
- German atheism is not antitheist. This region is especially secular, but it's more of an upbringing and a lack of questioning than a starkly opposed to all religion
- McDonald's kids meals here serve large salads as sides (yes, I wanted to never set foot in one of these again until stateside, but a friend I made at LEC from Hong Kong desired to go there)
- Germans knock on their desks at the end of lectures rather than clap
- Finish everything on your plate. Everything. *You missed a grain of rice. *Scrape until you get it. Good!
- Schnitzel (as I learned today) is not scary, but actually quite tasty (for whatever reason, I imagined some weird, native German dish composed of pig pancreas or something =P)
- ... and there seem to be extremes in heights (at least, that's my observation)
There's more I could share (e.g., praying with a homeless), but I will elaborate more in the next post. God bless you all, wherever you are in this world!
MJW
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Hallo Leipzig! ... now with pictures
EDIT: How could I forget pics??? See bottom of page for them :)
Day 1 (Mai 15): Leipzig
Day 1 (Mai 15): Leipzig
Started off quite well. Sandra, my PhD student, drove me around the city, showing me where I would be working and the dormitory I would be staying in. Then, she and Anja took me on a sort of tour of the city, down all sorts of streets, showing me famous places like St. Thomas’ church. Then went grocery shopping in the Bahnhoff (train station).
Came back to the dorm and absolutely conked. I was to meet a fellow from the Leipzig English Church today, but it turns out my alarm clock here is quite slow. We missed each other, so I set out to find it on foot.
That did not work out well seeing how I have no internet access, nor a phone. And even though I had a map, I didn’t bring it, figuring it would make me look “touristy” (I think this is the line between practicality and looks that I failed to recognize). Did not find the church, though I did find a phone with which I called my parents. They seemed to be doing well. Glad they were not frightened when I was rerouted through Charlotte.
Also ended up getting lost. Less people here speak English than you think. And it turns out my crash course in German prior to coming helped me only in posing the question “Where is NurenbergerstraBe?” and I could not understand the directions that were given from the question!
Since I’m alone, have no internet access, almost no church body around me (at least, for the next few days), I hope to rest and know God… perhaps that’s why He had me not find it, so I could draw near to Him.
I can’t believe I’m spending 10 weeks here!
Love and Peace in Christ,
The Journey
Hello friends!
This comes about 3 days later than intended, but I kept a running Word doc of my ventures from Dayton to Leipzig via airports. Another post will contain pics from the first day and some commentary on impressions (though only first impressions because I want to keep it dated from when I first arrived; will post more later this week perhaps).
Anyways, here it be!
This comes about 3 days later than intended, but I kept a running Word doc of my ventures from Dayton to Leipzig via airports. Another post will contain pics from the first day and some commentary on impressions (though only first impressions because I want to keep it dated from when I first arrived; will post more later this week perhaps).
Anyways, here it be!
7:26 am, Troy, OH
Got up around 6:30ish. This always happens the night before a big trip: I wake up about 2 hours before I need to. I’m actually the first one up (usually my sister). Been testing Skype on this computer. Will write more at airport? Or en route to airport? Sure, let’s go with that.
11:21 am, Cincinnati, OH
I’m at the airport more than an hour before boarding time… what to do, what to do.
Even before leaving for Germany, the morning was typical Wells…
Even before leaving for Germany, the morning was typical Wells…
Me: Are you saying only two-dimensional beings have gender issues?
Dad: Yes!
Dad: Yes!
Dad: Krista [who is looking at the breakfast sandwich we bought on the trip down], did you know you’re eating an old, dead pig?
Krista: [moans] I don’t wanna eat it anymore…
Krista: [moans] I don’t wanna eat it anymore…
Despite cats fighting and Krista’s whining, there was the spirit of prayer present at the airport as all four of us offered up prayer, the three staying for my safety to and in Germany, and one (me) for the safety and restoration of the family. God is definitely in the midst of us. Read Zephaniah last night… reminded me of my stubbornness and my need to be silent and listen to God. Hopefully some of that can be done here… boarding in an hour!
12:34 pm, Cincinnati, OH
5 Minutes till boarding time now. Been reading Always Enough by Heidi and Rolland Baker. Highly awesome, even though I’m only a few chapters in. The prophetic , fasting, healing, visions, everything just seems natural in the read. And it wasn’t as if they had done anything brilliant. They simply took God at His Word. Am I simple enough to do likewise?
Tired some from waking up so early. Hopefully that will help rather than hurt with jet lag. Nous verrons, erk, I mean, wir werden sehen.
1:03 pm, Cincinnati, OH
Still haven’t boarded. Aircraft maintenance issues. Hopefully won’t cause trouble in Philly.
… Scratch that, they just said that it would take pretty long. Oi.
… Scratch that, they just said that it would take pretty long. Oi.
1:32 pm, Cincinnati, OH
Being rerouted through Charlotte, NC. Still going to work (!!!). Just may need to rush from one side of the Charlotte airport to another… and maybe the same with Frankfurt. Fuuuuuuun!
Some time after 4 pm, Charlotte, NC
Gah, well, that was fast. Got off the flight, made a new friend en route to here (Mary, same year as me, Rhode Island-bound, U. of Indiana), and scrambled to scarf down a bagel prior to boarding the 8 person/row airbus. Hearing languages from all over the world right now. Some German, some French, and, obviously, English. Some stern faces, some peaceful. Perhaps Germany will change my affinity from the French to the Deutschland. Wir werden sehen.
No seat buddy last time. There was a bit of a shuffling of seats here before I ended up getting a seat friend. Someone in front of me was drunk on an empty stomach. A steward shook him and got no response. A person had just sat down beside me, but he ended up moving ahead of me to the aisle seat. Then, a recent college grad from U. of Charleston wanted an aisle seat, so I moved over to the window. She’s Bulgarian!
2:09 am German time, In the air between Charlotte and Frankfurt
Have had some good conversation about most everything, from languages to movies to friends and college. I ended up watching part of Avatar, though I stopped. There are so many better uses of my time up here. Namely, (1) cram German, (2) read the Word, (3) finish another chapter in Always Enough, and (4) pray. Doubt I’ll be getting sleep any time soon. Flight is scheduled to arrive around 7 am in Frankfurt, though I highly doubt that that will happen because of the drunk. Hopefully I’ll have enough time to get through customs and catch the flight to Leipzig. Hopefully I’ll also get some shut eye between now and then. And maybe even learn the word for “to learn” in German! Wir werden sehen.
3:39 am German time, In the air
Still awake. Doubt I’ll sleep much between now and the time we land (considering that’s less than four hours away). Been reading Exodus. Interesting the parts we skip over, like in one chapter God tries to kill Moses, but Zipporah circumcises her son and throws the foreskin at Moses’ feet. This appeases God’s wrath… Though I’m still not sure why.
God’s been reminding me not to treat Him as though He is some sort of trinket, but rather, as Lord, as the One I live for… to live like He is my Sustenance. Now how is this going to happen without my stopping? My pausing? I’m hoping this time could be a time of finding homeland in His presence, rediscovering intimacy… real, holy intimacy. Will see how much further I can get in Exodus before I conk.
5:38 am German time, In the air between Charlotte and Frankfurt
No sleep. Doubt it would be worth to go ahead and zonk now. Tried to fall asleep to The Princess and the Frog. Shut it off part way in. Plane landing in less than two hours.
7:17 am German time, Frankfurt, Germany
Landing in Frankfurt!
8:35 am German time, Frankfurt, Germany
Landed safely. Youlia gave me her email address and phone number because she will be in Berlin the whole time I am in Leipzig. May have to visit her. Ended up chasing after her in search of her flight gate. Ended up leaving her because I wasn’t sure if following her looked awkward. Went through security check again, and right before going near my gate, there was some sort of threat that caused a ten minute delay. No biggie, I have time to spare at this pit stop, surprisingly. Next stop, Leipzig!
10:40 am German time, Leipzig, Germany
Here!
Love and Peace in Christ,
MJW
Friday, May 13, 2011
Coming in and Going out
Last post before I head off to Deutschland. What are my thoughts?
... don't ask me all that it says (I can catch "Ich" and "Mit"). For those of you who don't know, my grandmother is an immigrant from Switzerland who knows German, Swiss-German, English, and I believe some French and Italian. Hopefully her language skills have been passed down to me.
Not the typical jitters of "Oh, so excited, so excited!" Rather calm, understated. "Yeah, I'm going to Germany. Oh, wait, yeah, I'm going to Germany!" Today I've spent preparing in various ways, spiritually, mentally, physically, and any other -ly words one might consider.
To ready me for the trip, my grandmother gave me this:
... don't ask me all that it says (I can catch "Ich" and "Mit"). For those of you who don't know, my grandmother is an immigrant from Switzerland who knows German, Swiss-German, English, and I believe some French and Italian. Hopefully her language skills have been passed down to me.
Been spending the last few days having quality time with the sis and the 'rents. Night walks, board games, horrid puns, and the like. I only hope that they and I are at peace with our parting tomorrow morning.
Spiritually, I need to do some more preparation. I want to know God's heart for Germany on this trip. I don't want to be blindly walking into the land as I know I've been placed in this internship for a purpose. Interesting to see how a forum I check sporadically just so happened to have a recent thread on the spiritual state in Germany right now (praise God).
Father, whatever else You'd have me do in these night hours, I pray You'd use it to ready me for the days ahead. I pray in Jesus' Name that You'd guide me in Your way everlasting, and that You'd watch over my coming in and my going out, both now and forever. Amen.
Love to you all. Next post should be on the other side (of the ocean, that is ;P)!
Peace,
MJW
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
3 days, 2 blogs, 1 heart
GAAAAAAH!
Hello, loves. I leave in 3 days.
GAAAAAAH!
Here be my "success" in packing:
Still not sure if I'll take those bowls. Have yet to pack shaver, contact lens solution, journal, and Bible. Among the books I intend on reading are...
Apologetics for a New Generation by Sean McDowell (thank you, Thom)
Hearing God by Dallas Willard
Always Enough by Heidi and Rolland Baker (rereading; hope to see what I think of it now)
Shaping History through Prayer and Fasting by Derek Prince (have read bits and pieces, but would like to understand the book as a whole)
.... plus others that I will update you as to my reading or not when/if I read them! I raided my mother's old Navigators collection for some books; hopefully I'll be able to read them, too :) And obviously, I have a German-English dictionary (been working on my accent; seems to be working okay...)
As the title suggests, I will actually be keeping two blogs now (as in more than one!), one more personal (this one) and one run by DAAD (the program I'm with). The latter should be more "do" based and the former should be more "think" based. We'll see how it turns out. If you want to check out the other one, it's not online yet, though it should be available through this site: http://www.daad.de/blog/
The one heart I'm referring to is the heart of God. He kept hinting to me throughout this week that I just needed to get alone with Him. It's interesting how easily I can still get caught in routines, methods when I'm so used to working to deadlines.
Essentially, He drew me to the fact that He is a God of Justice. Throughout Scripture, from Jeremiah the prophet to the Law of Moses to the Psalms of David to the Gospels and even Revelation, we see God's heart for the poorest. Whether widow, orphan, foreigner, or crippled, we see that God's eye is upon them, and that it is an injustice to them to forget them, to not serve them, to take advantage of them. These are the most precious.
And I ask, "God, why are you telling this to me now? Don't you know that I'm going to be the foreigner here in a bit? What on earth do you want me to do in Germany that has any relation to this?"
I don't know the answer yet, but I know He does. It's just awesome to at least know His heart again. A semester can take a toll on my spiritual intimacy with God, even if I do a ton "for Him." It doesn't matter what it is that I do, as long as it is done out of who I am. And I would hope that to be defined by His heart.
Love in Christ,
MJW
Hello, loves. I leave in 3 days.
GAAAAAAH!
Here be my "success" in packing:
Still not sure if I'll take those bowls. Have yet to pack shaver, contact lens solution, journal, and Bible. Among the books I intend on reading are...
Apologetics for a New Generation by Sean McDowell (thank you, Thom)
Hearing God by Dallas Willard
Always Enough by Heidi and Rolland Baker (rereading; hope to see what I think of it now)
Shaping History through Prayer and Fasting by Derek Prince (have read bits and pieces, but would like to understand the book as a whole)
.... plus others that I will update you as to my reading or not when/if I read them! I raided my mother's old Navigators collection for some books; hopefully I'll be able to read them, too :) And obviously, I have a German-English dictionary (been working on my accent; seems to be working okay...)
As the title suggests, I will actually be keeping two blogs now (as in more than one!), one more personal (this one) and one run by DAAD (the program I'm with). The latter should be more "do" based and the former should be more "think" based. We'll see how it turns out. If you want to check out the other one, it's not online yet, though it should be available through this site: http://www.daad.de/blog/
The one heart I'm referring to is the heart of God. He kept hinting to me throughout this week that I just needed to get alone with Him. It's interesting how easily I can still get caught in routines, methods when I'm so used to working to deadlines.
Essentially, He drew me to the fact that He is a God of Justice. Throughout Scripture, from Jeremiah the prophet to the Law of Moses to the Psalms of David to the Gospels and even Revelation, we see God's heart for the poorest. Whether widow, orphan, foreigner, or crippled, we see that God's eye is upon them, and that it is an injustice to them to forget them, to not serve them, to take advantage of them. These are the most precious.
And I ask, "God, why are you telling this to me now? Don't you know that I'm going to be the foreigner here in a bit? What on earth do you want me to do in Germany that has any relation to this?"
I don't know the answer yet, but I know He does. It's just awesome to at least know His heart again. A semester can take a toll on my spiritual intimacy with God, even if I do a ton "for Him." It doesn't matter what it is that I do, as long as it is done out of who I am. And I would hope that to be defined by His heart.
Love in Christ,
MJW
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Time
is a curious entity.
In less than a week, I will be boarding a plane, Leipzig-bound. There seems to be so much to do in so little time. Yet my parents are going to bed at 10 pm. I have time... to sleep?
I guess I never really reflected much on time's passage when I turned twenty, which is different than most people. I viewed the age as finally not having to put up with the teenager stereotype, so I might venture into the fields and forests of adulthood. Alas, I have been alive for two decades, yet I only feel as though I've lived 5 years. Rebirth does something to your biology.
With the limited time I have left of youth, what shall I do with it? Use whatever unction or strength in my bones to preach the Word? Or shall I wait in the desert until I am weak, growing close to my Maker in the process, that He might be exalted in a later age? I would hope for both concurrently, a sort of submission of my weaknesses and strengths before His glory. He is deserving of everything.
Why can I write that without any unction? I don't want to let this time be spent in a way where I train my mind to know God as doctrinal points or standards, but as Lord and King, as a holy God-anage (as opposed to personage) with whom I might dynamically engage. Engagements which mark the passage of time.
Year 1: Call out, training, knowing identity
Year 2: Purity in worship, fasting, learning the ropes of revival
Year 3: Trusting, hoping, wherever He would have I would go
Year 4: Discernment and Spiritus Sanctus
Year 5: Revival realized and ____
Blank to be realized shortly.
Love,
MJW
In less than a week, I will be boarding a plane, Leipzig-bound. There seems to be so much to do in so little time. Yet my parents are going to bed at 10 pm. I have time... to sleep?
I guess I never really reflected much on time's passage when I turned twenty, which is different than most people. I viewed the age as finally not having to put up with the teenager stereotype, so I might venture into the fields and forests of adulthood. Alas, I have been alive for two decades, yet I only feel as though I've lived 5 years. Rebirth does something to your biology.
With the limited time I have left of youth, what shall I do with it? Use whatever unction or strength in my bones to preach the Word? Or shall I wait in the desert until I am weak, growing close to my Maker in the process, that He might be exalted in a later age? I would hope for both concurrently, a sort of submission of my weaknesses and strengths before His glory. He is deserving of everything.
Why can I write that without any unction? I don't want to let this time be spent in a way where I train my mind to know God as doctrinal points or standards, but as Lord and King, as a holy God-anage (as opposed to personage) with whom I might dynamically engage. Engagements which mark the passage of time.
Year 1: Call out, training, knowing identity
Year 2: Purity in worship, fasting, learning the ropes of revival
Year 3: Trusting, hoping, wherever He would have I would go
Year 4: Discernment and Spiritus Sanctus
Year 5: Revival realized and ____
Blank to be realized shortly.
Love,
MJW
Friday, May 6, 2011
Testing Testing... Testing? And randomness.
Hey all,
This post is mainly a test to see whether I have the skills to upload photos on here, though I'll also say a few words...
* Safely returned from home in Nashville to the home in OH
* Officially signed the paperwork for acceptance of the scholarship
* Attempting to resolve when the dates of my flights should be (yes, I'm thinking about this 9 days before I said I'd be there =P)
* Prayer last night: that God rid me of my self-exaltation and only live to promote His glory
* Loving being with my family here for a few days. Chillaxing ROCKS!
Photo test = Win.
Will update with more details about the trip soon!
Lovelovelove,
MJW
This post is mainly a test to see whether I have the skills to upload photos on here, though I'll also say a few words...
* Safely returned from home in Nashville to the home in OH
* Officially signed the paperwork for acceptance of the scholarship
* Attempting to resolve when the dates of my flights should be (yes, I'm thinking about this 9 days before I said I'd be there =P)
* Prayer last night: that God rid me of my self-exaltation and only live to promote His glory
* Loving being with my family here for a few days. Chillaxing ROCKS!
Photo test = Win.
Will update with more details about the trip soon!
Lovelovelove,
MJW
Sunday, May 1, 2011
What this blog means
So this may be the first the blog I've really hoped to keep up. I aspire to keep it up throughout the summer, so whoever wants to know what's happening in the life of MJW will be kept up-to-date. Don't know how horribly profound it will be, but we'll see how it works :P
Why I named this blog Sehnsucht Sojourner:
Sehnsucht is quite possibly my favorite word in existence. Though foreign to my native tongue, it refers to the deep longing for homeland within the human spirit, a sort of longing for "we know not what." C.S. Lewis extrapolated on his own acquaintance with this form of nostalgia in a letter to a friend, saying:
"About death I go through different moods, but the times when I can desire it are never, I think, those when this world seems harshest. On the contrary, it is just when there seems to be most of Heaven already here that I come nearest to longing for a patria. It is the bright frontispiece which whets one to read the story itself. All joy (as distinct from mere pleasure, still more amusement) emphasizes our pilgrim status; always reminds, beckons, awakens desire. Our best havings are wantings."
In a sense, I agree with Lewis. It is in those most intimate times of worship in the Spirit that I have received greatest joy, those times in which I sing from the heart, "I want to be where you are."
However, I have found myself of late longing to be away from "here," not because of a heart of worship, but rather, because I long to once again have a heart that could fathom these realities. The busyness of school. The continual "next thing" that ever encroaches upon my existence, leaving me at the end of a day saying, "God, when is this going to end?" I've grown tired of this life, and I long to worship my God in Spirit and in Truth. I know I cannot be home truly in this life. The closer I get to it, the deeper the longing becomes. So be it. I'd only have it near.
At the same time, I am a sojourner on this earth. I am on a journey, wandering hither and thither, reaching climaxes of varying intensities until I breathe my last. I don't know if I've ever really considered a physical place my true "home," which is why it is easy for me to walk the different faces of this earth calmly. Whatever the culture, I believe I could adapt. This shall be tested in the coming weeks, as I am meant to leave the states this summer.
It's not so much about where I go as it is about who I take with me. My faith should be central to these ventures. And I know it has been the faith of my fathers gone by, that of Abraham, of Isaac, and of Jacob... none of these considered this earth their home:
By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God... All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them. (Hebrews 11:9-10,13-16)
I know not where I'm going on this earth, and I know not all that this summer will hold, but it is my hope that my wanderings will be for a greater calling. Journey entails not simply going from place to place, as though one were without aim. My aim is not in place but in passion. I do not aspire to live forever in a lofty tower, in an expensive home, with the richest delicacies, with the grandest titles, though the last would be my flesh's downfall. Rather, I aspire to serve God where I am, whatever I'm doing, for as long as He'd have me. This summer has been a wrestling match in my mind between various sides: Germany, Michigan, Ohio, Zambia, etc. From what I know till now, God wants me in Germany. For some reason. I know not why yet, but I know who will be with me, even if there be no one else. To paraphrase Francis Chan, I know that the moment I'm not willing to be lonely or misunderstood, I'll be useless to the Kingdom.
God, I don't care where you take me this summer. All I care about is that You'd be there beside me, leading me in all my ways, teaching me Your truth, calling me out, calling me aside, calling me to Your side again. And there, as we walk together, side by side, You will know my heart's longing, and I will know Yours. We will journey to that place so near yet so far until I fade past these temporal realities into the homeland of eternity.
Love and Peace in Christ,
MJW
Why I named this blog Sehnsucht Sojourner:
Sehnsucht is quite possibly my favorite word in existence. Though foreign to my native tongue, it refers to the deep longing for homeland within the human spirit, a sort of longing for "we know not what." C.S. Lewis extrapolated on his own acquaintance with this form of nostalgia in a letter to a friend, saying:
"About death I go through different moods, but the times when I can desire it are never, I think, those when this world seems harshest. On the contrary, it is just when there seems to be most of Heaven already here that I come nearest to longing for a patria. It is the bright frontispiece which whets one to read the story itself. All joy (as distinct from mere pleasure, still more amusement) emphasizes our pilgrim status; always reminds, beckons, awakens desire. Our best havings are wantings."
In a sense, I agree with Lewis. It is in those most intimate times of worship in the Spirit that I have received greatest joy, those times in which I sing from the heart, "I want to be where you are."
However, I have found myself of late longing to be away from "here," not because of a heart of worship, but rather, because I long to once again have a heart that could fathom these realities. The busyness of school. The continual "next thing" that ever encroaches upon my existence, leaving me at the end of a day saying, "God, when is this going to end?" I've grown tired of this life, and I long to worship my God in Spirit and in Truth. I know I cannot be home truly in this life. The closer I get to it, the deeper the longing becomes. So be it. I'd only have it near.
At the same time, I am a sojourner on this earth. I am on a journey, wandering hither and thither, reaching climaxes of varying intensities until I breathe my last. I don't know if I've ever really considered a physical place my true "home," which is why it is easy for me to walk the different faces of this earth calmly. Whatever the culture, I believe I could adapt. This shall be tested in the coming weeks, as I am meant to leave the states this summer.
It's not so much about where I go as it is about who I take with me. My faith should be central to these ventures. And I know it has been the faith of my fathers gone by, that of Abraham, of Isaac, and of Jacob... none of these considered this earth their home:
By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God... All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them. (Hebrews 11:9-10,13-16)
I know not where I'm going on this earth, and I know not all that this summer will hold, but it is my hope that my wanderings will be for a greater calling. Journey entails not simply going from place to place, as though one were without aim. My aim is not in place but in passion. I do not aspire to live forever in a lofty tower, in an expensive home, with the richest delicacies, with the grandest titles, though the last would be my flesh's downfall. Rather, I aspire to serve God where I am, whatever I'm doing, for as long as He'd have me. This summer has been a wrestling match in my mind between various sides: Germany, Michigan, Ohio, Zambia, etc. From what I know till now, God wants me in Germany. For some reason. I know not why yet, but I know who will be with me, even if there be no one else. To paraphrase Francis Chan, I know that the moment I'm not willing to be lonely or misunderstood, I'll be useless to the Kingdom.
God, I don't care where you take me this summer. All I care about is that You'd be there beside me, leading me in all my ways, teaching me Your truth, calling me out, calling me aside, calling me to Your side again. And there, as we walk together, side by side, You will know my heart's longing, and I will know Yours. We will journey to that place so near yet so far until I fade past these temporal realities into the homeland of eternity.
Love and Peace in Christ,
MJW
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