What this blog means

So this may be the first the blog I've really hoped to keep up.  I aspire to keep it up throughout the summer, so whoever wants to know what's happening in the life of MJW will be kept up-to-date.  Don't know how horribly profound it will be, but we'll see how it works :P

Why I named this blog Sehnsucht Sojourner:


Sehnsucht is quite possibly my favorite word in existence.  Though foreign to my native tongue, it refers to the deep longing for homeland within the human spirit, a sort of longing for "we know not what."  C.S. Lewis extrapolated on his own acquaintance with this form of nostalgia in a letter to a friend, saying:


"About death I go through different moods, but the times when I can desire it are never, I think, those when this world seems harshest. On the contrary, it is just when there seems to be most of Heaven already here that I come nearest to longing for a patria. It is the bright frontispiece which whets one to read the story itself. All joy (as distinct from mere pleasure, still more amusement) emphasizes our pilgrim status; always reminds, beckons, awakens desire. Our best havings are wantings."


In a sense, I agree with Lewis.  It is in those most intimate times of worship in the Spirit that I have received greatest joy, those times in which I sing from the heart, "I want to be where you are."


However, I have found myself of late longing to be away from "here," not because of a heart of worship, but rather, because I long to once again have a heart that could fathom these realities.  The busyness of school.  The continual "next thing" that ever encroaches upon my existence, leaving me at the end of a day saying, "God, when is this going to end?"  I've grown tired of this life, and I long to worship my God in Spirit and in Truth.  I know I cannot be home truly in this life.  The closer I get to it, the deeper the longing becomes.  So be it.  I'd only have it near.


At the same time, I am a sojourner on this earth.  I am on a journey, wandering hither and thither, reaching climaxes of varying intensities until I breathe my last.  I don't know if I've ever really considered a physical place my true "home," which is why it is easy for me to walk the different faces of this earth calmly.  Whatever the culture, I believe I could adapt.  This shall be tested in the coming weeks, as I am meant to leave the states this summer.


It's not so much about where I go as it is about who I take with me.  My faith should be central to these ventures.  And I know it has been the faith of my fathers gone by, that of Abraham, of Isaac, and of Jacob... none of these considered this earth their home:


By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God...  All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them. (Hebrews 11:9-10,13-16)

I know not where I'm going on this earth, and I know not all that this summer will hold, but it is my hope that my wanderings will be for a greater calling.  Journey entails not simply going from place to place, as though one were without aim.  My aim is not in place but in passion.  I do not aspire to live forever in a lofty tower, in an expensive home, with the richest delicacies, with the grandest titles, though the last would be my flesh's downfall.  Rather, I aspire to serve God where I am, whatever I'm doing, for as long as He'd have me.  This summer has been a wrestling match in my mind between various sides: Germany, Michigan, Ohio, Zambia, etc.  From what I know till now, God wants me in Germany.  For some reason.  I know not why yet, but I know who will be with me, even if there be no one else.  To paraphrase Francis Chan, I know that the moment I'm not willing to be lonely or misunderstood, I'll be useless to the Kingdom.

God, I don't care where you take me this summer.  All I care about is that You'd be there beside me, leading me in all my ways, teaching me Your truth, calling me out, calling me aside, calling me to Your side again.  And there, as we walk together, side by side, You will know my heart's longing, and I will know Yours.  We will journey to that place so near yet so far until I fade past these temporal realities into the homeland of eternity.

Love and Peace in Christ,
MJW