I’ve taken in information for way too long, and it’s time for some
creativity.
Something in the making.
A drawing, a story, a dance that I (and the world) have yet to know.
This is what happens when I neglect journaling space for a good
semester (if not year). I lose not only
the space, but my head and heart loses their route for expression. Thus, all my energies get bottled in,
suppressed, distracted from potential pursuits and purposes.
Admittedly, I had some of this space at the very end of school this past year, but it was mostly a realization
that I had done too much on my own. Not
by myself, but on my own initiative and power.
Taking too much on in my hunger to “do more.” Not “too much to handle,” but too much to
live healthily. Living with caffeine and
without sacred space – both my own fault.
Furthermore, I was taking this on in my own strength, rather than praising
God throughout the season and relying on His joy as my strength. Even amid the downpour, however, I was
grateful to hear whispers of His love, a simple “I am with you” late into the
night.
Now, as an alumnus, I look toward another four years ahead in a new
city as I prepare to become a physician.
If med school is all it’s said to be, how on earth do I preserve this
space? There needs to be a shift in my
paradigm.
I need not do everything for its own sake (or my own sake).
Nor should I.
I need to learn to live out my time constructively, such that I
actually have time to breathe – and be – in God’s presence.
Restructuring my time alone for more “down time,” however, is not the
only thing that needs changed. Not only “doing
less,” but a recognition of what’s best.
What’s empowering. Transformative
in the best way possible.
That’s what God’s all about.
Even if in this past year I appeared to do a ton of things “for God,” my
connection with the Vine was shallow at best.
My zeal for the lost, for the downcast, for justice, righteousness, and
peace was meager at best.
I wasn’t even operating on principle, so much as the idea of keeping my
head above water.
And that is NOT what I have known of my Savior.
I have tasted and seen that my Lord is good. He is the greatest good anyone could ever
know or experience. And it is His heart
that I desire to recapture this new season.
I desire to abide in His covenant, worshiping and knowing Him as good
in times of calm and times of utter insanity.
Never ceasing in my love for Him, never letting it grow cold or harsh or
somehow “rough” by the weight of this world.
Simply hoping, simply trusting, simply abiding in His faithfulness to
His children, and learning to walk in Him.
Knowing this journey through His eyes.
Prayers that in this time of calm, I would be able to relearn these
sacred pathways, and remember, by His Spirit’s assurance and His Word’s
instruction, how to abide in Him.
God be with you.
In Christ,
MJW