We've Only Just Begun

2:10 PM in Dhaka, 4:10 AM in Troy

I begin writing...

Thus, my apologies for the low level of coherency this might possess.

In case anyone didn't know, God's awesome.

Not just at retreat centers, but all the time, though I loved the time I spent at the Elijah House Friday. The moment I entered the house I essentially dropped to the floor, begging for help from God to know Him again, and that my sense of control would leave me. He responded using a classic book by Frances Roberts, Come Away My Beloved, which are devotionals written from the perspective of God. Excerpts from the one that struck me most, "Renew Your Vows," is below:

There is a day coming when you will say, “I have waited in vain for the Lord.” You will wait for Me to speak, and you will hear only the whistling of the wind. But I tell you now, I am never silent; you are deaf. I am always speaking; but I do not find your ear attuned to listen.

You will sit alone in a desolate place and grieve in your loneliness; but it will not be that I have left you, but that you have become insensitive to My presence. Yes, if you ignore My personal nearness and fellowship and if you do not return My overtures, your perceptions will become dull; you will not be able to discern Me even though I am near at hand– even though My love for you is still as strong as before.

You will not be able to meet the needs of others with anything short of this. There is no cure for the ills of humankind but what is contained in the love of God. You cannot give to them until after you have taken it from Me.

Some have lost Me by the sin of rebellion; but I warn you that you may lose Me by the subtle way of simple inattention. Confess your codlness, and draw near to Me; and I will make My personal presence real to you again. I will hold you close to My heart, and you will hear My voice.

Renew your vows, and I will revive your ministry. There is a life ahead for you into which you could not have entered before. There is work ready for you, and I have prepared you for it. It is too wonderful to miss. It will be silent but powerful.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I recognize that God can be silent in some seasons, but I believe that the above held true in my case. I observed that the natural state of my mind, when left to its own devices, wandered away from rather than toward God. Further, I recognized how I had done just what the devotional had said, i.e., pushed God off so many times that I became numb, worn, inattentive... somehow, insensitive to His presence. At first I thought I should confess all the things that distracted me, but God led me on a different route, toward confession of my heart condition. As I did this, I found greater peace and ability to engage the Word... and really know God.

I know that had I failed to do this, and then try to start praying for Bangladesh, my mind would go here, there, and everywhere... and my heart would be tense. BUT in Christ, in this renewed state, there I began to read Daniel, and saw how he stood for God in the context of the ruling governments and states. He was able to readily adapt to cultural shifts, without losing his grounding in God, committed to following God's way, even with threats of death. Not only this, but he led this lifestyle at all stages of his existence, from his captivity as a youth being trained in the king's courts, to later portions following royal edicts against praying to anyone but the king.

How much I would desire to be as Daniel in every place I find myself. Doing the work of God, not wavering in commitment, and knowing He will reveal His secrets to His beloved.

It is my prayer for Bangladesh that I would do this. It's funny how the last sermon I hear before going out is on the goodness of laboring for God, of working for Him regardless of your context. And then, to read at the end of the travel guide LAMB gave me these words, I believe God is getting His message across loud and clear:

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."
~ Colossians 3:23-24

As I was leaving the retreat center, I was getting the sense from God that this refocusing of the mind was to accomplish two things: (1) it was to set a pattern for me, so I would not fall again away into a divided mind, and (2) prepare me for the work ahead, as I had yet to hear all that He wanted me to just yet. I don't know what it is going to be just yet, but I know God has something new in store. And I am excited!

Pray for safety tomorrow through all the travels, and that as I pursue this work for God, He would continue to reveal His love and greatness to me and all those surrounding me.

Love to you all!

in Christ,
MJW