Honorably Wounded

So you say I’m better off here, as dry as the shoreline in an ocean of fear,

Points to anyone who knows the song to which I refer.  Here I discuss the spirit of “honorable woundedness,” not in the sense of military woundedness in physical battle, but in spiritual war.  And what missionaries can become over enough time.

Helping can hurt in more ways than one when serving the poor.  As I’ve talked with staff here and heard their stories concerning what they have witnessed in different missional contexts, it’s enough to take a toll on anyone.  The cycle of burnout stems from there being perpetual need, and in this perpetual need, a perpetual realization that you cannot do it all.

For example (and I’m making this one up theoretically, though I have heard events similar in result happening), who would not feel discouraged if the star of your midwifery program on a Native American reservation overdosed on some medication and left herself permanently brain-damaged… all because of her husband’s abusive power.  Now let’s also say that you had developed a close relationship with this woman, having served beside her, laughed with her, and shared parts of the gospel with her.  And that similar situations happen consistently on this reservation, sometimes leading to the death of the woman.  Would you risk entering another relationship again?  Would you risk being wounded from drawing close to another person to minister to them, or would you shield yourself, and keep all your relationships surface?

Such are the risks missionaries take.  If they keep going at this pace, without anyone to counsel them, they may end up in emotional shambles or numb.  At the same time, if they leave to receive a break from the tragedy, guilt overwhelms them, a sense of failure from not enduring through the pain.  If these people do not receive a break from the insanity of their context, why should you?

In the midst of this, we know that God is able to restore us and help us endure, and He does call us out into times of rest and rejuvenation in Himself to do His work.  This is incredibly key to the work of missions, for one cannot step into this field with a spirit of self-reliance.  One must remain totally dependent on the work and supply of God, for He is the One who sustains us and heals us.  He is the One who binds up our wounds.

As a missionary from Romania told me during my time in Dhaka, “It’s very hard work, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

I end with one of my favorite songs by Kari Jobe, and I pray that no matter how difficult it is to minister (wherever you are, for spreading the gospel is met with opposition, no matter the setting), you would know God’s peace and strength:

Wish it could be easy,

Why is life so messy,

Why is pain a part of us?

There are days I feel like,

Nothing ever goes right,

Sometimes it just hurts so much.

But You’re here,

You’re real,

I know I can trust You.

Even when it hurts,

Even when it’s hard,

Even when it all just falls apart,

I will run to You,

Because I know that You are,

Lover of my soul, Healer of my scars,

You steady my heart,

You steady my heart.

I’m not gonna worry,

I know that You’ve got me,

Right inside the palm of Your hand.

Peace in Christ,

MJW